Oslobađanje od projekcija

“Najbliža druga osoba koja zadovoljava naše potrebe, brine o nama, živi za nas, ispada sasvim obična, baš kao i mi, sa istim željama kao i mi, i projektuje na nas mnoga slična očekivanja.

Brakovi se često raspadaju u srednjim godinama, a glavni razlog za to je neadekvatnost želja i nada iz detinjstva koje se naslanjaju na krhku strukturu međuljudskih odnosa.

Druga osoba ne želi i neće zadovoljiti velike potrebe našeg unutrašnjeg deteta, pa postoji osećaj da smo izdani i ostavljeni sami.

Projekcije oličavaju ono što je u nama ostalo nedefinisano ili nepoznato. Život nam pruža priliku da se oslobodimo projekcija, a kada se nađemo sami i frustrirani, trebalo bi da preuzmemo odgovornost za unapređenje u životu. Niko nas na svetu neće spasiti, niko neće brinuti o nama, niko neće izlečiti naš bol.

U sebi imamo veoma složenu ličnost koju jedva poznajemo. Ona želi da bude naš stalni pratilac i spremna je za ovo. Tek kada čovek prepozna krah svojih detinjih nada i očekivanja i preuzme punu odgovornost za pronalaženje smisla svog života , tek tada počinje drugo odraslo doba.

👇🏻

James Hollis, američki psihoanalitičar

Prezaštićena deca u odraslom dobu žive kraće od one koja su živela sama ili sa jednim roditeljem

To examine, by gender, the relationship between adverse events in childhood or adolescence and the increased risk of early mortality (before 80 years). The study sample included 941 participants of the English Longitudinal Study of Aging who died between 2007 and 2018. Data on socioeconomic status, infectious diseases, and parental stress in childhood or adolescence were collected at baseline (2006). Logistic regression models were adjusted by socioeconomic, behavioral and clinical variables. Having lived with only one parent (OR 3.79; p = 0.01), overprotection from the father (OR 1.12; p = 0.04) and having had an infectious disease in childhood or adolescence (OR 2.05; p = 0.01) were risk factors for mortality before the age of 80 in men. In women, overprotection from the father (OR 1.22; p < 0.01) was the only risk factor for mortality before the age of 80, whereas a low occupation of the head of the family (OR 0.58; p = 0.04) and greater care from the mother in childhood or adolescence (OR 0.86; p = 0.03) were protective factors. Independently of one’s current characteristics, having worse socioeconomic status and health in childhood or adolescence increased the risk of early mortality in men. Parental overprotection increased the risk of early mortality in both sexes, whereas maternal care favored longevity in women.
— Read on www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-23443-y